Reflections on the First Week Home

Yesterday was the one week anniversary of our return home with Benjamin Dennis and I am glad that the first week has passed.  Conditions have improved in many areas since then and I feel alot more confident.  I still recall that first clumsy diaper change and that first frustrating night where I hardly slept at all and was terrified about my nursing capabilities.  I recall feeling a rush of emotion when thinking about the helpful nurses in the hospital wheeling him into the room at night and making sure all was well before leaving me alone with him and returning to help me as soon as I pressed the call button and wishing one of them would materialize in my house at 3 a.m. 

Here are the things that have been better than expected...

1.  Although I would love a full night of sleep, Ben sleeps alot.  This means that I still have time to do things, such as write blog posts, do laundry (even though I am not supposed to be climbing the stairs until I get the doctor's approval at my 2 week post surgery appointment) and feed myself.  I think that life might get more difficult in this area as he gets older and sleeps less and gets more mobile.

2.  I have heard alot of women in life and on the internet say that they were too frazzled and busy to shower and even brush their teeth during the early days with a newborn.  I have been able to take a shower every day even when I have been in the house alone.  This has been possible because of the previously mentioned sleeping.  And I enjoy every minute of these showers!

3.  Nursing has not been as difficult or painful as I thought it would be.  It really isn't painful at all now that the initial trial period is over.  The difficult part is how often it has to be done.  I am already wondering how I can start pumping and stockpiling for the day when I want to be away from him for more than 3 hours.  Another good part is that it is making me lose weight like crazy which I love. 

Here are some things that have been about like what I expected. 

1.  The endless pile of diapers.  Holy crap. 

2.  I knew I would have a mourning period for my old, carefree life.  Yesterday I was pretty sad because it was St. Patrick's Day.  Being during Spring Break, I was usually skiing on this day, soaking up the mountain sun and drinking green beer at the various bars at the base of the mountain after the lifts closed.  If I wasn't doing that, I was usually doing something else fun that involved friends and drinking.  Yesterday I was inundated with Facebook footage of everyone in the world except me (I know that's not true but it felt like it) out enjoying the summer-like weather, wearing stupid green outfits and having a day of debauchery.  Meanwhile, Justin went out and had fun with his dart team and right after he left Ben commenced with several hours of unexplainable fussing that I couldn't fix.  It was a low point.  I told myself over and over that I knew this was going to happen from time to time and tried not to think about it.  I took Ben out around the neihborhood in the stroller and that was enjoyable. 

Things that have been harder than I expected. 

1.  The big one...the one that everyone talks about...the sleep issue.  I am not completely drained...today.  Some days I am though.  I haven't had a good night of sleep since the night before the induction.  Actually, that night was a bad night too because I was anxious so I guess I haven't had a good night of sleep since the 5th of March.  Not that overdue pregnancy sleep is good.  When I am up at night my eyelids can barely stay open.  Before appointments, I try to document feeding and diaper times for a day or two in case the doctor or nurse asks, and one night I was up between 1 and 2:30 a.m.  The next morning I truly could not remember what went on during that time after the initial feeding at 1.  I was delerious apparently!  Awesome.  I did have a genius idea to keep my ipod near the rocking chair so I have something to look forward to during nightly feedings.  That helps quite a bit.  Poor Ben is going to grow up tangled in my headphones! 

2.  Worrying over every noise he makes at night.  It never fails...I will be drifting off to sleep and suddenly hear a little cough or snort or some sort of slobbery spit-up type sound.  And what do I do...I get up and look at him and everything is always fine.  When will this vigilance pass?  Will it ever?  Who knows? 

3.  This baby really can destroy laundry.  We have three basinette sheets and so far two days has been the max that they have lasted without being leaked on or spit up on.  I am so glad I registered for that extra two pack! 

What will the next week hold?  Will it be harder or easier?  We will find out...

Some photos...

Open eyes! 

Brother Allan hiding under the basinette ruffle.  I gave him a new mouse to play with so he wouldn't feel left out.

 This is one of several new quilts Ben has been given.  It is one of two my grandma made him!  She really loves to make quilts.  He was mad at me for making him pose. 

Here we are in our St. Patrick's Day green.  I have been waiting several months to wear that NDSU t-shirt!  So glad I bought the medium and not the XL that would have fit me when I was 7 months pregnant!

Snuggling with Nana Mary.  What a cute little guy!