Monday, March 12, 2012

First Day, Just the Two of Us...and Chaos Ensues...

Well, Monday has come and Justin is at work so that means me and Ben are spending our first day home alone...EEK!  It has been a chaotic morning with alot of bodily functions and a growing pile of laundry.  The casualties include, of course, little outfits (mostly onesies), two fleece blankets, a swaddle sleeper and a basinette sheet.  Yesterday we went through 5 onesies.  In Ben's defense, many of these soilings are probably my fault more than his because I am inexperienced and he kicks and flails alot while being changed.  Also, we have been putting a piece of gauze with vaseline over his snip wound and I think it is directing pee in all directions.  Finally, last night he spit up for the first time which I had totally forgot happens to babies (He has only been drinking real milk for about two days now) so I can be blamed for that too.  Oh, that freaked me out the first time and it was just a tiny amount! 

He has been sleeping in a basinette in our room at night and I think he has been OK in the overnight hours.  It is hard for me to sleep because I still react to every little sound he makes.  Last night, after the first spit up, I kept worrying that he would spit up while lying on his back and choke.  Nightime baby maintenance is quite an adjustment but I try to remind myself how lucky I am to have him.  I know there are people out there who wait years to adopt babies or struggle through endless disappointment while doing fertility treatments who would do anything for a baby.  I thought I would get through the challenging aspects by thinking of the fun times ahead in the future but now I kind of get sad thinking that he won't always be like this. 

I just can't get enough of his soft fuzzy blonde head and his cute little baby noises! 

Tomorrow we are going to the pediatrician's office for a wellness check and on Friday a nurse is doing a free home visit to help with any nursing concerns and to weigh him and check him again.  I look forward to this because I want the reassurance that I am doing it right.  It is alot of pressure to be the only source of nourishment for someone!  The first night was so stressful.  I have heard alot of people have bad pain during the "engorgement period" (another one of those kind of gross things...look it up if you want details!) and I read online that the peak period of nursing misery is around the 20th feeding and that is when most people who give up on it early throw in the towel.  My problem wasn't was more worry about adequacy and being really exhausted.  At the hospital they said to nurse every two hours, even if you had to wake the baby to do it and that was stressful because that mean no sleeping for me!   But if I waited too long he would be frantic and screaming and had hard time focusing on the task at hand.  When he gets like that he pushes away and kicks and punches and he is really strong.  His mouth is showing all the signs of wanting to eat but his body can't relax.  Also, It has been hard doing alot of things because of recovery from the c-section.  That has been one of the most frustrating things for me.  I didn't want that blasted surgery to begin with and it has made me sad that I can't just quickly jump up to do things.  I am not supposed to drive for a certain time period (not that I want to go anywhere yet but I will soon) and I am not supposed to lift anything except the baby or climb stairs (our laundry room is in the basement...lucky Justin!)  Mostly I am just really tired.  When I had an appendectomy a few years ago the week post surgery was spent sleeping on the couch ALL day and watching entire seasons of TV shows on dvd.  So...the opposite of what I have been doing this week.  And that was just a scope surgery and not a full incision!  I am ready to be back to normal physically again. 

Now for a few pictures...I am sure most people just want to see those anyway! 

All ready to leave the hospital!  Justin picked that outfit for his first day home!

Meeting Allan...everything with Allan is going just fine.  He is mildly interested but hasn't tried to jump in the basinette with him or anything and shows no signs of animosity.  What a relief!

I swallowed my pride and posted this one even though I am not one bit comfortable with my appearance right's still a good picture.  It was beautiful the day we left the hospital...high of 72 degrees...on March N.D.  Too wierd!  It was very nice not to have to worry about bundling the little guy up!

Sweet little Ben enjoying the light of day for the first time!


The sun makes our living room really warm in the afternoons so we have been dressing him mostly in onesies and swaddling at night.  Today is cooler and very windy so he is wearing a fleece outfit and hat.  I hate when his hands and feet feel cold!

Oh, here is a link to the hospital birth announcements.

The picture looks rather distorted but it is still cute.  I think it is fun looking at the list of the other babies born during our stay...Ben's nursury buddies!

OK...I started writing this post at around 10:30 and one feeding, several phone calls, and a few soothing snuggle sessions later I am finally done and I have to feed myself.  What a morning!

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