The End of the Wait

Tomorrow starts the 41st week of gestation for the baby, assuming the due dates and whatnot have been correct, and at 7:00 a.m. we are heading to the hospital for an induction.  I have mixed feelings about it.  It wasn't really what I had in mind and I am nervous about it ending in a c-section and being more painful than a labor that commences on its own.  I have read alot about other people's inductions online and kind of wish I hadn't because, of course, the accounts are all over the place.  I haven't been told by the doctor that there is a concern over the baby being too large or having a large head so that is good.  Also, I have been showing signs of imminent labor for over a month now so hopefully the water breaking will start something (they will try this before the pitocin). 

This has possibly been the strangest day of my life.  How do you spend your last day before becoming a parent?  It has been just like any other day (boring, full of TV, internet surfing, reading and meaningless errands to entertain me for a few hours so I don't sit around the house all day waiting for labor to start).  I went to Best Buy and bought Bruce Springsteen's new CD which was released today.  Then I bought some gummi worms and pop and drove around in my car listening to the CD since listening to music in my car has always been something relaxing and enjoyable for me and I am not sure how loud you can play music with a baby in the car and I will miss being able to have it as loud as I want and being able to take my time running errands since I don't think alot of little kids like sitting in carseats for extended periods of time.  The candy and pop made me feel pretty gross and I regretted the decision to have them both together...I should have had one or the other! 

Soon I just went home because my clothes are too small and I felt really gross being out in public and pulling my pants up and shirt down with every step I took.  This was too bad because it really felt like spring today with the recent snow dissipating before my eyes and a temperature in the mid 50's.  It would have been a perfect day for some strip mall walking!

I felt kind of reflective about the end of the world as I know it and had kind of a sad feeling about the great reduction in freedom I am about to experience and the onslaught of bodily fluids and grossness that my days are soon going to revolve around.  When I have these thoughts I try to push them aside and think about the future and doing fun things like going to little league games or some other fun activity (he doesn't HAVE to like sports...but I sure hope he does!), having elementary school birthday parties with a clan of rowdy boys running around the house giggling and tackling each other, and having the excuse to go the city pool on hot days (it is no fun going to a pool by yourself as an adult).  And of course there is the sleep issue that everyone seems to love to remind future parents about.  It is like a sick pleasure that people can't resist.  I am worried about it but I try to remind myself that, although I am not the young 18-22 year old that I once was, I didn't sleep in college...like at all.  I rarely got an appropriate amount of sleep and I was hungover several days each week (weekends were a free for all of chaos) and I still managed to live a productive life with lots of activities and good grades and, I am proud to say, excellent class attendance...so I imagine this will be like subtracting several hours of sleep each week but also subtracting the effects of regular weeknight drinking (did you know that after my 21st birthday I went to the bar every night for 10 days?! This was also one of the 3 semesters I was on the Deans List. I was just unstoppable, although the very easy classes in my program helped.)  There is the concern that what I was doing then to keep me from sleeping was fun and changing diapers and feeding at four in the morning is not fun...I hope I still have a remnant of that energy.  I am still in my 20's (barely) after all!

However, I have been reflecting on these issues for weeks already, and really throughout the whole pregnancy, reality has been accepted, and I am really ready for this kid to get out of my body.  OUT I SAY! 

So for our "last night" we are going to eat some leftovers since we have already had that "last meal out" several times in the last week for both lunch and supper and my organs are so crowded that I can barely stomach a full meal anymore.  Then we are going to watch "Biggest Loser" so I can see how many of the contestants weigh less than me (every week someone hits this wonderful milestone) then I will double check my hospital bag and try to sleep although that probably won't be very successful because how can you sleep if you know that you will (hopefully) have a baby by that time tomorrow night!  EEK!

So...stay tuned...who knows when I will get this updated again.  Hopefully we will manage to get the word out via text messages and calls and hopefully a quick photo upload to Facebook.  I don't really know what to expect so we shall see how it commences!  I appreciate everyone's concerns and positive thoughts over the last few weeks!