Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Happy 1st Birthday!

Well, here it is, March 7 of 2013.  One year since Benjamin Dennis was born.  Everyone has days that they remember with perfect clarity and this will be one of mine.  I remember getting up at 6:00 a.m. to go to the hospital to be induced and feeling really sad to leave Allan at home not knowing what big change was coming (dumb, I know, he's a cat!).  We drove the three minute drive in the dark and it was snowing.  The snow would melt away that afternoon.  I remember bursting into tears later that afternoon when I found out I would be having a c-section and laying there numb with shaking hands as he was born.  When I finally got to see him he was wrapped tight like a burrito and his hat was too small so they gave him a different one. 
First picture of a new person!


I still wish I could swaddle like this!  I never got the hang of it!  Good thing those velcro swaddlers exist!

This was taken on his first afternoon at home, a strange and unseasonable 70 degree day on March 10.  When I think back, March 10 is the day life really changed!  I remember changing his diaper that day and feeling suddenly overwhelmed by the enormity of the quantity of diapers I would be changing over the next few years.  And, what do you know, the cliches are all true.  It has flown by!  Imagine that. 

I love this picture.  I can't believe the way he slept as a newborn!  By that I mean...he slept on and off around the clock through noise and light. 

Look at that little guy on his first St. Patrick's Day! 

I miss his cute little newborn faces when every thing was so fascinating! 
When I think about the year I actually think about how amazing it is that I have come this far.  It fascinates me to think about those early months of complete delirium.  I don't know how I survived the month of March.  I was in so much pain and discomfort from the c-section and was so tired and had such an adjustment to make from my former self centered (and I don't mean that in a disparaging way as referring to anyone who doesn't have kids as self centered.  I refer to the fact that I really did just do whatever I wanted, and life was pretty simple and easy) lifestyle.  I think of those years often with longing and have tried to keep some balance by seeing friends and going on a few short trips (VEGAS!  FRISCO!) without the baby.  I pumped in many, many cars and bathroom stalls during those nursing months.  I recently was in Scheel's with my massive stroller and someone was occupying the handicap stall.  I waited until I realized that I could hear the subtle sound of a pump coming from the stall and made do with a smaller stall.  I relate, anonymous woman in the stall!  Do I ever relate!  It probably happens more that I ever realized before! 
Ben has come far, as most babies do in their first year of course.  I don't think I need to do a recap of a typical 0-12 month development continuum and if you read this regularly you have read about his milestones and funny habits!  The lastest it that he goes in his bedroom and swings the door closed and when I go after him he is just hanging out in there, playing with toys or books.  Already acting like a big kid and barricading himself in his room!  Hey...he wants alone time...I will never turn down alone time...maybe this is good!  Next think I know he will be cranking the volume of his sound machine and that deranged, chime-y "Twinkle Twinkle" tune will be filling the house.  Please NO! 
Happy birthday little baby!  It was a crazy year in a good way and you have changed us for the better!
We will be having a cake and presents this weekend so I will put some fun cake smashy pictures up after the festivities. 

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