Well, it's already Wednesday and I haven't put anything on here since the middle of last week. The reason is that I am so blasted tired that I can barely make it through each day. I have been by myself since Sunday because Justin is in Fargo for work. It is so bad that yesterday and Monday I fell asleep sitting up on the couch in the middle of the afternoon. Two days in a row, I feel asleep in the middle of the day sitting up on the couch. For those of you who really know me, you know that this is not like me at all. Yesterday was really bad. I yawned until tears ran down my face and probably shouldn't have been driving a motorized vehicle. And of course, toddlers don't care and they would...not...leave...me...alone. Ben would not let me sit for more than 30 seconds at a time. No TV show or movie would hold his attention. He only wanted me, sitting on the floor playing (ouch my tailbone!) and reporting with him to the bathroom every time he had to go even though he does not need my help for routine trips. I tried to sneak in a nap with him while he watched Curious George and he caught me and said, "Mama, you can't close your eyes, you have to see me!" Ugh. I was tempted to drive up to a day care center and tell them I would pay anything they wanted just to take them for the day. As a result, I spent all day not being very happy and prepared downright crappy food for them to eat because I couldn't face doing anything more and then felt like a failure so after my 20 minute couch nap I decided to take them somewhere out of the house because being there just made me want to sleep so I looked it up and saw that the zoo is still on summer hours for the week and we are members so we headed there for the evening.
We got there around 5:45 and it closes at 7:00 so I knew the place would not be busy at all. It turned out to be so empty that it was a bit unsettling. The only people we saw the whole time we were there were the two teens working at the gift shop and ticket window and an odd single dude walking around the place. There were no employees or anyone else in sight. The concession stands and tour trains have been closed for the season. Also, some of the animals, mostly the ones that live in outdoor water habitats, had been put away for the winter. The otters, Ben's favorites, were already put indoors so I had to distract him quickly with something else. The other animals were pretty active, actually. We saw two leopards frolicking and roughhousing with each other like kittens and the tigers came right up to the windows, licking their lips of course.
So, yes, this pregnancy is starting to take it's toll on me and everyone else as a result. Often, when I sit and look around at my surroundings I think that I could go into labor at any moment and that would mean that a neighbor or friend would have to come over here and see this place as it is on a daily basis. And that would be embarrassing. It's so bad.
In addition to my everyday discomfort and exhaustion, I have to see this crap going on nonstop:
This was taken last night but some version of it goes on for 80% of every day. He's laying in the sun in this very spot right now. Go ahead, Allan, mock me some more. You get 18 hours of sleep every day, I know. Good for you.
So anyway, today is Bruce's birthday. I remember watching that 2001 concert on HBO with my mom and brother and sister one night back on the farm. It was probably a Wednesday night because that was the one night that school activities had to end by 5 p.m. out of respect for families who did religious activities that night (we did often do religious activities that night, such as confirmation and church during Lent) and also my dad was not home on Wednesday usually although I don't remember why. Maybe that was his bowling night or something. Anyway, 2001 was as prime year for the pop singers of the time, and news had recently surfaced that Britney Spears did indeed lip sync at her live concerts. Her people admitted that, yes, she did but only because her high energy dancing made it impossible for her to sing and the dancing was an important part of her entertainment value. I remember watching Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band performing that concert, which is three hours long, running all over the stage and dripping with sweat and I knew that having a high energy performance was no excuse for not actually singing at a live concert. I remember saying something about how he sure was intense for someone who was, "like, 50 years old!" which I'm sure my mom rolled her eyes at. My point here is that I, unlike many of my teenage peers at that time, suddenly knew that there was music that was a whole different level than much of the crap that was played on the radio nonstop. Although, "Summer Girls" by LFO still has a special place in my heart! And that, in addition to my dad's Bruce Springsteen Greatest Hits cd that we listened to on long car trips, was what inspired my Bruce fandom. As luck would have it, Napster and file sharing came along that year which allowed me to hear a lot of music that I would not have heard otherwise which is still pretty important to me.
So now he is 66, and that would make me...32. Hopefully he keeps going for a long time so I can see a concert one of these years.
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